What do you suggest I do here? Warning: Drama

I take my camera where ever I like.  But I'm not a "pro" (unless Pro A$$hole counts   ).

I would make it crystal clear to the couple that I would be shooting candids for my own enjoyment.  Not trying to supply the traditional wedding set shots, that's the pro's job!

Kelly

Have you friend be brought up to speed with how the photographer responded and let them know you are there to help where you can, but don't want to cause conflict.  

Somebody's been painted into a corner. If it was me, I would leave my gear home and make it clear to the friend this is a no no. She's just trying to get some freebies, and you shouldn't allow yourself to get used like this....My .02 cents only.....

I did this about 10 years ago, side by side with the pro, who was really ok with it - but I would not do it again. I still take my camera to weddings I am invited to and snap away, (but I don't direct and stay out of the pro's way 100%) but if someone asks specifically again, I would decline and leave the camera at home. It was a lot of work, and in the end a bit unfair to the pro, as we had many shots that were very similar and mine came with no price tag. I ended up providing many digital copies that the pro would have been paid for.

Unfortunately, you have quite a mess now. I think you better let your friend know about the reaction from the pro.....certainly don't want this to become an issue at the wedding. Maybe they need to be sure the pro is going to be professional whether or not you bring your camera.

It doesn't seem like your friend would really need you to take pictures if she's hired a photographer; maybe this is more about knowing you're a photographer and asking you to take some pictures to be part of her special day. 

Maybe it would be best at this point let the friend know how much you appreciate her thinking of you and wanting you to be part of her day but not take pictures during the ceremony and let the so-called pro do what she was hired to do. The photographer's concern might be having someone even accidently get in the way while she's trying to get the photos she needs. I don't think that excuses what seems like unprofessional behavior but that might be at least one reason to not do this. And whoever's officiating at the wedding probably doesn't need more people there taking pictures anyway.

You should probably do what you think will be best as to what to say to your friend; I think I might try to not make a big deal out of it to the friend since they've already hired this photographer and of course will want to have good pictures of their wedding. At most (if at all) maybe take some pictures at the reception (maybe just take a p&s).

effron wrote: Somebody's been painted into a corner. If it was me, I would leave my gear home and make it clear to the friend this is a no no. She's just trying to get some freebies, and you shouldn't allow yourself to get used like this....My .02 cents only.....

Attend the wedding as a friend and not a photographer. 

+1 and I would let my friend know why

Sounds like your friend needed to have clearer talk with the photographer they hired.

garyrhook wrote: For me

My immediate thought was to clarify to the pro that "I didn't ask, they asked me, and you need to know taht I was immediately uncomfortable with it." But since you tried that, and the "pro" acted rather unprofessionally (I mean, if it's that much of a problem, put a restriction in your contract, right?) you've done all you can do.

Assuming you were invited to the wedding....

Now you tell your friend, "thank you but no. I am oh-so-flattered, but it's not appropriate from a professional level, and honestly, I just want to celebrate your day with you. If I'm working, I can't do that. I love you too much to miss out on such an important event!"

Or some such, right? And don't bring up the mixed-up messages in this little three-way. The pro might have chosen to be conciliatory to his client, and thought by contacting you he could get you to back out without looking like the bad guy.

You did what you could with the schmo-pro, but I wouldn't show up with a camera now. Uh-uh, no.

Again, for me.

Please let us know how events transpire.

Thank you all for your messages.  Very helpful.  Now just to clarify Gary, you are suggesting NOT to speak about the discussion the "Pro", let's just call him "Hired Photographer" and I had.  Correct?   

Linda Duncan wrote:

garyrhook wrote: For me

My immediate thought was to clarify to the pro that "I didn't ask, they asked me, and you need to know taht I was immediately uncomfortable with it." But since you tried that, and the "pro" acted rather unprofessionally (I mean, if it's that much of a problem, put a restriction in your contract, right?) you've done all you can do.

Assuming you were invited to the wedding....

Now you tell your friend, "thank you but no. I am oh-so-flattered, but it's not appropriate from a professional level, and honestly, I just want to celebrate your day with you. If I'm working, I can't do that. I love you too much to miss out on such an important event!"

Or some such, right? And don't bring up the mixed-up messages in this little three-way. The pro might have chosen to be conciliatory to his client, and thought by contacting you he could get you to back out without looking like the bad guy.

You did what you could with the schmo-pro, but I wouldn't show up with a camera now. Uh-uh, no.

Again, for me.

Please let us know how events transpire.

Thank you all for your messages.  Very helpful.  Now just to clarify Gary, you are suggesting NOT to speak about the discussion the "Pro", let's just call him "Hired Photographer" and I had.  Correct?   

I am saying that there is no value in further contact with the HP (good point; sorry) after getting raked over the coals, nor any value in relaying events to the bride. I would dance around any detailed explanation (per my comments above) because who wants to cause the bride strife for her special day? The HP is a putz, but we can agree to let it go, right?

I think it would be wise to ask your friends why they wanted you to take photos, considering that they hired a photographer. (I'm guessing they don't see you as a professional, since it wasn't you they hired.) One thing that seems very common is that friends don't understand that the amount of work is the same, whether you're being paid or not, except that the paid photographer has (or should have) artistic control over each shot. That means that he/she is going to set up each shot as perfectly as possible for his/her lighting and lens, and not for your "snapshot." If it's a portrait, the subjects will be looking at the photographer's lens, and not at yours.

All of that said, I think it's appropriate to take candid shots that the paid photographer isn't being paid to take, whether before or after the wedding. If you want to do this work for free, find out what times/subjects/areas are not under contract, and make it clear to both the photographer and your friends that you will limit your shooting to those.

Good advice, go there and just enjoy the wedding

Either your friend didn't clearly explain to the photographer, or that photographer is a little bit too sensitive.  

Linda Duncan wrote: --snip--

This morning, I've received 2 calls.  1 from my friend stating that they spoke to the hired photographer and "they are okay with this".  Then I just got another call from the actual photographer who was pi$$ed!!

--snip--

.
The pro is too chicken to be up-front and honest with his client . . .and then puts it all back on you..?? Incredible.

As suggested several times already ...take the point-n-shoot and take pics as any other guest would ...or would not.


...tom...