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12 years 8 months ago #128455 by Dori
:rofl: :rofl:
Don't pi$$ me off, I am running out of room to store the bodies...

Resident Texasotan...
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12 years 8 months ago #128459 by Baydream

Dori wrote: :rofl: :rofl:

I hope none of photobod's physiotherapists is blond and a member here.
Shoot, learn and share. It will make you a better photographer.
fineartamerica.com/profiles/john-g-schickler.html?tab=artwork
Photo Comments
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12 years 8 months ago #128464 by Dori
I'm Blonde, well more grey now. :rofl:
Don't pi$$ me off, I am running out of room to store the bodies...

Resident Texasotan...
,
12 years 8 months ago #128659 by The Time Capturer
Hillbilly First Aid

Two hillbillies were having the blue plate special at their favourite watering hole, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a possum burger too fast. The first hillbilly said to the other, "D'ya thunk we otter help?"
"I reckon," said the second.
The first hillbilly got up and walked over to the lady and asked "Kin yew breathe?"
She shook her head no.
"Kin yew speak?" he asked.
She again shook her head no.
With that he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt and licked her on the butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.
The first hillbilly turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever time."
Sure, practice makes perfect but, unless you learn from your mistakes, you are only perfecting your ability to fail.
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12 years 8 months ago - 12 years 8 months ago #128660 by MLKstudios
:rolleyes
Matthew L Kees
MLK Studios Photography School
www.MLKstudios.com
[email protected]
"Every artist, was once an amateur"
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12 years 8 months ago #128701 by Baydream

Dori wrote: I'm Blonde, well more grey now. :rofl:

I hear you. I've been grey so long I have to dig out old photos to remember my original hair colour. My two boys point to my hair and tell me how proud they are that turned it grey so quickly.
Shoot, learn and share. It will make you a better photographer.
fineartamerica.com/profiles/john-g-schickler.html?tab=artwork
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12 years 8 months ago #128748 by Baydream
In (choose your own "pick on" territory such as WV, Newfoundland, etc), the writing on rear view mirrors says, "Caution. Objects in Mirror May be Behind You."
Shoot, learn and share. It will make you a better photographer.
fineartamerica.com/profiles/john-g-schickler.html?tab=artwork
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12 years 8 months ago #128769 by Nunya
:rofl: :rofl:
Don't look at me, I didn't do it :)
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12 years 8 months ago #128918 by Dori
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. Dogs don't wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's

interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's
happy to see you.

:whistle:
Don't pi$$ me off, I am running out of room to store the bodies...

Resident Texasotan...
,
12 years 8 months ago #128921 by Shanna-Marie
lmao, too funny Dori! :)
I believe that there is an explanation for everything, so, yes, I believe in miracles. ~Robert Brault

www.flickr.com/photos/shanna-m/
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12 years 8 months ago #128924 by Baydream
Good, clean fun. About that garage? :blink:
Shoot, learn and share. It will make you a better photographer.
fineartamerica.com/profiles/john-g-schickler.html?tab=artwork
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12 years 8 months ago #128937 by photobod
1. Two blondes walk into a building ........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day - but I couldn't find any.


5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.

7. I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle.

8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

11. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

12. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'

13. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'


14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..'

16. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

17. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'

18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

19. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'

20. A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'

21. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
www.dcimages.org.uk
"A good photograph is one that communicate a fact, touches the heart, leaves the viewer a changed person for having seen it. It is, in a word, effective." - Irving Penn
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12 years 8 months ago #129281 by The Time Capturer
If you yelled consistently for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee... Hardly seems worth it.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb... Now that's more like it.
Sure, practice makes perfect but, unless you learn from your mistakes, you are only perfecting your ability to fail.
,
12 years 8 months ago #129285 by Baydream

The Time Capturer wrote: If you yelled consistently for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee... Hardly seems worth it.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb... Now that's more like it.

Hey. No personal attacks on ... oh, you know who. :toocrazy:
Shoot, learn and share. It will make you a better photographer.
fineartamerica.com/profiles/john-g-schickler.html?tab=artwork
Photo Comments
,
12 years 8 months ago #129300 by chasrich

Baydream wrote:

The Time Capturer wrote: If you yelled consistently for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee... Hardly seems worth it.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb... Now that's more like it.

Hey. No personal attacks on ... oh, you know who. :toocrazy:


I rescent (NWA) that ... :thumbsup:
“Amateurs worry about equipment, professionals worry about money, masters worry about light, I just make pictures… ” ~ Vernon Trent
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